The Story of On River Time
On River Time camps are just over a week away, beginning June 1st, at The Lodge at Palisades Creek in Irwin, Idaho
At camp, teens who have experienced abuse and neglect learn they are not defined by what happened to them, they have a future filled with hope. We hope you will take a moment to read this beautiful excerpt from our founder, Steve Davis' memoir. Through his healing words, you may even learn something about yourself.
Our camps are our biggest expense every year. Would you please consider making a donation today to help make camp possible for these incredible and resilient kids? We are so very grateful for you!!
Excerpt from "Things Learned on the River" by Steven Davis
About twenty-five years ago, I was fishing on the Yellowstone River near Livingston, Montana. I had never been to Yellowstone National Park nor to Jackson Hole and wanted to see what the fuss was all about. My previous travels never took me this close to both, so it was a great opportunity to check these off my list. I had mapped my route. I drove south on highway 26 from Idaho Falls, which follows the South Fork of the Snake River towards Jackson.
With the Tetons in the distance, I entered Swan Valley and Irwin, Idaho. I came upon a sign on the side of the road. The Lodge at Palisades Creek. I stepped out of my truck and was greeted by the lodge manager. We shook hands and talked for a bit. He gave me a tour of the twenty-plus acres bordering the Snake River.
I believe that there are no accidents in life, and people are placed in our journey for reasons we can't understand initially but given time, we discover the "why". Good people, bad people, good moments and bad. Each creates a learning moment that will stand the test of time, if we let it.
But, unbeknownst to me walking past the Orvis fly shop overlooking the casting pond, the people and place inserted into my life from The Lodge at Palisades Creek were purposely placed there. By God. No doubt.
From that day forward and for almost three decades, I've fished those waters. None other. This place. I've made friends with the owners, Marshall Geller and his wife Patricia and found a long-lost brother in the manager Justin Hays. Shayde Stotts, the chefs, the staff, the guides and the folks who tend the garden, plus many of the 258 people who live in Irwin, Idaho. They all became my family of sorts. And while they may never know, it was THIS family who created the environment for me to process the trauma sustained as a child and to eventually catch my God-directed purpose.
I didn't know anything about creating a non-profit. Not the first thing. But, just like the river opens our hearts and minds as we drift around the bend, casting our hopes and dreams to the mouth of a trout, it happened.
I knew that I wanted to share my testimony to kids who have survived abuse and neglect, and like me, I wanted to change their environment... to change their perspective. Ultimately, I wanted to affect their hearts.
The first thing I decided to do is make an appointment with John Croyle, who started a ranch for abused and neglected children in the late 70’s, called Big Oak Ranch. Having never met John, he joined me at the entrance, and we settled in his office to visit. He is tall, with a bold voice and inquiring eyes. After a brief chat of introductions, I began to share my vision for On River Time and how I wanted to take some kids to the river to experience a trip of a lifetime. I had prepared materials and ideas and before I could finish, he slapped his giant hands together and said, “We’re in.”
Suddenly, he leaned across the desk, and said, “Now, tell me your story.”
My story of abuse was not a comfortable place. I had shared it with counselors over the past twenty-years, but that trauma still held an emotional spot in my heart. I didn’t know whether I could do it without choking through my words. John settled back in his chair to listen.
I discovered something about me in that moment. Talking and sharing my past, while awkward and difficult, was therapeutic. I felt a sense of internal peace as I revealed the hurt, the shame, guilt and fear carried with me for all of these years. In the past, those feelings were my comfort zone. Stepping out of it was my biggest test, for deep down I realized that for On River Time to exist, I will need to wade these waters. For it’s not just the “what”, but the “why” that is meaningful. Not just my “why” but that all the kids. It was the first step to freedom for all of us.
Shortly after that meeting, in 2012, John, his son Brodie, and three young boys from Big Oak Ranch joined me at the Lodge. There was no programming, no formality of the week, no agenda but a beginning of something truly special. We fished. Taught the boys to cast. Caught a few trout. Ate amazing food prepared by the chef. But mostly we talked. And that turned out to be the most powerful “take-away” from the first On River Time camp. These boys knew that they were not alone.
Since that time, twelve years ago, On River Time has affected the hearts of over four hundred children survivors. With an amazing staff working daily to further the ministry, On River Time provides college and vocational scholarships and has awarded over sixty since our beginning. Our programming expanded to include coaching and mentoring of kids for life skills and provides retreats for the older kids as they enter college or the workplace.
Our camps are now grounded in a “blue book” which is the itinerary for the week of camp. We visit the Tetons, whitewater raft. We fish. And yes, we do catch a lot of trout. But, the most meaningful moments are triggered through our talks, small groups and the fire-pit chats where all of us have a chance to share our fears and symbolically release them into the flames. The impact of those moments cannot be described but are meant to be felt and seen. Vulnerability . . . and then a connection.
Our camps are designed to create a safe, loving environment and prepare their hearts for the lessons of the river. With each lesson, we connect on a deeper, relational way that lowers the “walls’ that arrives with each kid. They all get off the bus with internal baggage. Our prayers are that they leave those behind.
Our last night is called ‘The Pinning Ceremony’, which has historically been our most emotional moment, where each child takes a pin from the bowl, walks over to someone who has impacted their hearts during the week, and get pinned. The significance of this ceremony is recognition, sharing and gratitude. They discover that it’s not about getting “pinned” but giving it. A symbolic move to serving others. The little thing of asking someone to pin them becomes their own blessing to others, and to themselves.
They will load the bus the next morning with the understanding that the pain from their past will not heal by focusing on themselves or their pain, but by focusing on others, serving something bigger by doing the little things for others.
Some kids are excited about camp. All of them arrive apprehensive, with some being shy, introverted and hesitant to engage on any level. I can sense all of this during our talk before dinner the first evening. By the looks on their faces, I know who wants to be there and who does not.
As those reluctant hearts leave the pinning ceremony, a moment is taken with each one, and without fail, the ones who didn’t want to be there, often through “big cheek tears” say that while they really didn’t want to be there, now, they just don’t want to leave. And those words alone speak to the power of what God put on my heart.
“I just don’t want to leave.”
The miracles of the river and lessons and hearts behind it all affected each of them. What they do with the experience will be left to them, but I know one thing to be true.
The cycle of abuse does not end without an introduction of change. The pains of our past will always travel with us, but it doesn’t need to define us or our future. It will always be part of our story. In the end, if we want to change the way things look, we must change the way we look at them.
Steven Davis
Founder, On River Time
Founder, Steve Davis, fishing with an On River Time camper from Big Oak Ranch